Ohhh....

I think I super stink. Only two posts this whole month? Yikes. What a slacker.

I do not have anything profound to say today either. Just felt like something should be put on here. The weather is sucking my brain out of my head. Enough with winter already.

Sometimes I think I am odd. Well, I am fairly certain I am odd in a lot of ways. But I was thinking about this today...

It is a Saturday. And being the Facebook addict I am, I read a lot of status updates. One friend had said she was going out tonight. You know, with adults. For a second I was envious. A night out with adults?!?!?! How stimulating! How fun! How exciting!

Then it passed. And I realized that if I actually con someone into keeping all of my kids, I would rather go out to dinner alone with Mark. I am otherwise fairly content to be at home. I wonder if this makes me super odd.

Do not misread me. I will leave the house. I am not a hermit and am not afraid of the public. It was just that for that one moment of wow going out with a bunch of people....it faded fast. I suppose I am more of a small group kind of person. More intimate. Less work?

So while I prefer to be at home, I will go out. I also suppose that if given the choice, I would most often choose to spend my Saturday night at home eating pizza with my family. I further suppose that makes me old.

I am okay with that. After all these years, I guess I am finally okay with who and what I am. Reminds me of a poem I had long ago....

I Am Me and I Am Okay


I am me.
In all the world, there is no one exactly like me.
There are persons who have some parts like me,
But no one adds up exactly like me.
Therefore, everything that comes out of me
Is authentically mine because I alone choose it.
I own everything about me
My body, including everything it does;
My mind, including all its thoughts and ideas;
My eyes, including the images of all they behold;
My feelings, whatever they may be...
Anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement
My mouth, and all the words that come out of it
Polite, sweet or rough, correct or incorrect;
My voice, loud or soft.
And all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.I own all my triumphs and successes, All my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me I can become intimately acquainted with me.
By doing so I can love me and be friendly with me in all parts.
I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
And other aspects that I do not know.
But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
I can courageously and hopefully, look for solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think
And feel at a given moment in time is me.
This is authentic and represents where I am in that moment in time.
When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did,
And how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting.
I can discard that which is unfitting, and keep that which proved fitting,
And invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
And to make sense and order out of the world of people
And things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me.
I am me and I am okay.

Though I feel that God has played a huge role in all that I am, the message is still the same: I am me. And I am okay.