Mark and I did not dance at our wedding. We talked about what song we would dance to and we never really agreed on a song anyway. We also are not dancers. I have a variety of songs on my mp3 player. I listen to them when I am baking cookies. One of the songs I have on there is When You Say Nothing At All by Alison Krauss. I have heard this song many times over the years and it was the song *I* wanted at our wedding. Mark has always been a man of few words. It is who he is. He is not a guy who talks about his feelings non stop. Probably fairly typical for a guy. The last few times I have heard this song it reminds me of Mark. More so these days than ever before. It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart Without saying a word you can light up the dark Try as I may I could never explain What I hear when you don't say a thing The smile on your face lets me know that you need me There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me The touch of your hand says...

It has been a long time since I have done a Love Thursday. Today's Love Thursday will be shown also through pictures. I have come to learn over time, that in love time changes things. Almost ten years ago I walked down the aisle to say "I do" to Mark. The love I had for him that day is not the same as the love I have for him today. It has grown. And changed. Over the years we have been up and down and around again. But the best expression of our love is our kids. There is no better way to explain this than to look at our kids and think, "Now THAT is love." We created some of the most beautiful beings on the planet. The two of us. Love is loving someone so much and completely that you begin to share the same dreams, hopes, thoughts, and needs. Love is truly becoming one mind and one heart. What love created... (It is taking a lot for me to post this picture. First, I do not like pictures of myself. Second, I am getting big already.)

Today is Love Thursday and I am not feeling the love. Maybe it is because the weather is cold and yucky here. (The sun? What's that??) Maybe it is because Emma has been a little under the weather. Maybe it is because it is tax season and Mark is once again putting in an insane amount of hours. Whatever the reason, not feeling it. However, though I am not feeling the love in any profound way, my kids can not keep one from feeling loved. Even in her not feeling so hot state, my baby girl is loving me. (Yes, I am aware that she is almost seven. She is still my baby girl.) Yesterday, she finally told me that her head and throat were hurting a bit. I told her that she was supposed to tell me if anything was bothering her so we could keep an eye on it. Her response? "I know. But I did not want you to worry about me mom." I almost cried. We try to protect the ones we love, don't we? Of course in return, we worry about those that we love. So while I may not have anything eart...

Sometimes life slaps you in the face. Assuming you are one who does not enjoy being slapped in the face, it stings. More often than not, it also catches you off guard. In life there are moments that take your breath away, both good and bad. Such as the first time you held your newborn baby. Or the first time someone broke your heart. Both of those moments can take your breath right out of you but in very different ways. Both of those moments can change your life forever and also change your view and definition of love. As we gather these breath taking moments in our lives, we change and grow. As we change and grow, our view becomes very different than it was in our teen years. We learn that life and love are not what the movies make them out to be. We learn that losing someone breaks our hearts and that putting that back together is not as easy as it looks. Sometimes love means having to do and say things you would rather not do or say. Sometimes love means having to put yourself last....

The Bible tells about love in I Corinthians Chapter 13 : Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. (We read the King James version. Charity is the same as love.) Here it is in the NIV : Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are proph...

I have forgotten the last few Thursdays to do Love Thursday. Today after reading Amanda's post, I was reminded that it is indeed Thursday. And even though I already posted today (a long, not sure what I was trying to say post), I do have a Love Thursday post as well. You get a two fer today. Early Saturday morning, January 6, I will put my Emma on a plane. I will not be getting on this plane with her. She will be going to California with her Tia (Mark's sister who is 27, I think) to see Mark's father. I know she will be in very capable hands with Emily. I know Emily will guard her with her life and I know the girls will have a great time together. That is not was saddens me. It is not the first time my girl and I will be separated for a few days. She will be coming back on Tuesday afternoon. So her absence will only be four days. We have been apart for that long a few times before. It is not that I am not used to that sort of time apart. It is not that I want to be going t...

I feel like I have a lot running around in my mind but for some reason I can not get it out. Writer's block? Though I am not really a writer. My posts lately have been very simple. Pictures of things and not much depth. I try not to get too personal on here because I am not sure who all may be reading this. Plus, I have finally reached a point where I really do not want to air my dirty laundry for all the world to view. Not that I am ashamed or embarrassed by my life nor that I am afraid to share. Just that it does not always seem appropriate. This time of the year has always caused me to reflect on my life. Not just what the last year brought but my whole life. From all the way back in high school when my journal was in a notebook, I would take a few pages at the end of the year and review my year. I am not sure why I did this, but I did. It was always a way to reflect and see what had happened over the year and how I had changed. It involved my feelings on all sorts of matters an...

I spent my thirtieth birthday with my family. For a couple of years Mark and I have taken the kids to Crown Center around the holidays. They decorate for the holidays and Union Station is near by with the Link so you do not have to go outside to walk from Crown Center to Union Station. So we headed down there for the afternoon. Our first stop was Fritz's . Now, if you have never been here you are missing out. They serve burgers, fries and that sort of food. But they deliver it by train. No kidding. The train drives around the top of the restaurant and drops your food off at your table. It is great. And if you have a child, like my boy, that is in love with trains, it is a dream come true. The kids ate well and had alot of fun at the same time. Davis watching the train in the window. Emma wearing her train conductor hat. Davis deciding what to eat. Emma posing for a picture outside of Fritz's. Next, we went down to Santa's Crayola® Christmas Land . Neither of the kids wante...

Okay y'all, I am freezing my arse off today. Holy night. Our computer room is in the back room of the house and it sits between two windows. Two 100+ old windows. Can you say drafty? Maybe I should get a lap top and have wireless net. I do not think Santa will be bringing that my way this year. Anyway, quick post as my arse is half frozen now. And with as big as it is, I am not sure how long it will take to thaw back out. Tonight, my friends, marks a special occasion. Scrubs is back for Season Six. I LOVE me some Scrubs. It is the only t.v show that I own the first two seasons on DVD. I can catch reruns now on a couple different channels too. I simply love this show. Tonight J.D. tries to come to grips with being a father. Blue Man Group guests as well. So for today's Love Thursday I am giving my love to Scrubs. Now that it is on Thursday nights, it gives a whole new meaning to Love Thursday. The Office is also on tonight. Must see t.v is back y'all. Happy Love Thursday. ...

I met with my girlfriends last Friday night. These are the girls that I have known for years. And by years, I mean pretty much since the sixth grade. If you are counting, that makes it about eighteen years. These are my GIRLS. We did a wine and snack night. We brought wine and snacks and sat down around Denise's table with our yummy snacks and delicious wine to do what else? Shoot the shit as I like to say. GNO ~ Girl's Night Out~ usually consists of a few things. One, food. Two, drinks baby. Three, gossip. Yes we know it is wrong but we can not help ourselves okay. Four, confessions and actual deep conversation. And last week was no exception. My posse consists of Denise, my bestest friend of eighteen years. Denise is the true love of my life. She is awesome and there are not enough words to describe her. Honestly. Denise is the kind of friend who there is not an adequate way to describe her. Shannon, whom I have also known for eighteen years. She worked on the yearbook with...

What Love Is Love is full of many colors Like a rainbow Shining through sprinkles of water Escaped from a waterfall Love can bring you cheer Like a smile Making you laugh through your tears When things aren't so smooth Love feels different Like the seasons Always changing yet remaining the same Time after time Love held inside Shared by two Feelings speaking from heart to heart Communicating together as one Love can be beautiful Like a rainbow Shining in the sky Filling the world with color Happy Love Thursday. ~~poem written by yours truly in May of 1992~~

Fall is here (or is it winter?!?!) and it is getting dark early again. There is a coldness in the wind that bites right through you. Winter is not far off now. Every year I get sick when the weather changes like this. EVERY year. And this year was no exception. It requires lots of Ricola cough and throat drops, soup, hot drinks, water and NyQuil and DayQuil to get me through it. It takes a few days, for me to work it out. In the meantime, I look like something the dog barfed up and feel like something the garbage truck ran over. My poor kids get shafted during this. Luckily this year it came right during Halloween so they have plenty of candy to keep them alive. This time it has consisted of me completely losing my voice. Which I think the kids liked. All I could do was lie there defenseless as they tore apart the house. I could not yell, I could not move fast enough to catch them. All I could do was squeak occasionally and wander about the house trying to pick it up without feeling li...

Things over here have been.....whoppy. That is a word I use when it feels like things are all over the place and chaos has broken out and I can not seem to regain any sense of normalcy. Whoppy. Now, I do thrive under a bit of chaos. I work better with noise and on a deadline and all of that. Always have. I do not, however, function well when it feels as if *I* or my feelings are all whoppy. And they have been for the last week. My husband has been doing a lot of changing over the last few months. In a positive way and it is both beautiful and annoying at the same time. Why? Because we (the kids and I) got used to a certain way around here. Now, it is being all stirred up and honestly, even though it is good, it is also hard. Mark is coming to the place I have prayed for for years now. In every way. My nature wants to then, instead of thanking God for that or telling him how great it is, push the other way. Nuts right? Mark is becoming the man I always wanted and honestly knew he was an...

After two weekends away, without kids and just being alone with Mark, Love Thursday has a new, fresh meaning for me this week. We have been to both Chicago and St. Louis before. St. Louis had involved a trip to see Ben Folds Five in concert the winter after we were married. The second trip to St. Louis was to see The Wiggles, which was a trip in which I was a couple months pregnant with Davis and Emma was three. Our trip to Chicago was for our five year wedding anniversary, a little over four years ago. Going back to both of these places now, almost four or more years later, I am a different person. In too many ways to count. As is Mark. With the trip to Chicago I was just happy to see Mark again. He had left on the Wednesday prior to my Friday departure. Once there, I realize I would have been glad to stay in the room and watch t.v. with him, just to be near him again. When it came time for me to leave, it made me unbelievably sad to leave Mark all alone in that hotel room. ...

Seems there is a Blog Phenomenon. Love Thursday. I found this out from Amanda . Wondering what it was about, I l clicked on her Love Thursday link to read up on it. I have to admit, at first I thought it as like another Valentine's Day type deal. You know. We NEED a day to tell people we love them and all of that. Things we should be saying all the time. Then after a few moments I thought maybe this was trying to get at that. With all the crap in this world this was a way to take a day and just be thankful and think of all the good around us. And with that in mind, I could get on board Love Thursday. This lead to what I thought of for Love Thursday. I could go on about how great my husband is. Or how great my kids are. Or how great life is. And while all those things are true, it just seemed too contrived. Too forced and not genuine. Next I thought I could go on about something totally off the wall. Like how much I love Hello Kitty. And how in Chicago there was a whole store of He...