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Love Thursday

I feel like I have a lot running around in my mind but for some reason I can not get it out. Writer's block? Though I am not really a writer.

My posts lately have been very simple. Pictures of things and not much depth. I try not to get too personal on here because I am not sure who all may be reading this. Plus, I have finally reached a point where I really do not want to air my dirty laundry for all the world to view. Not that I am ashamed or embarrassed by my life nor that I am afraid to share. Just that it does not always seem appropriate.

This time of the year has always caused me to reflect on my life. Not just what the last year brought but my whole life. From all the way back in high school when my journal was in a notebook, I would take a few pages at the end of the year and review my year. I am not sure why I did this, but I did.

It was always a way to reflect and see what had happened over the year and how I had changed. It involved my feelings on all sorts of matters and it was always a lengthy process. It is interesting to go back and read them now.

I have not written in a paper journal in some time. I have let things out on here, even if in vague ways and it has helped much like my paper journal did back then. I have always felt too much and been overly dramatic in life. I daydream more than any normal person should and have a difficult time living in reality sometimes. I always wanted the fairy tale life and often dreamed what life would be like once I was married or once I had children. It was always romanticised and it was always blissful and perfect.

Over the years I have learned that life is not that way. Most often how I pictured my year to go is no where near where it ends up. I figure God has a sense of humor and He obviously knew how it was going to go and thought He would let me find my way. This year was no exception.

It did not go the way I envisioned it back in January. But as I look back over the last year and who I was and what life was then, I do not recognize it. It is so far from who I am and what life is now. And now is far better than then. My hurdle? Letting go of then and looking at now and focusing on later.

Love is difficult. It is complicated and life complicates it more. Your past mistakes and your dreams for the future taint it and not always in positive ways. The ways others have treated you colors your view of love and sometimes dropping all that baggage is not easy. Learning to leave the past in the past is not always the easiest thing to do. But it is what we must do in order to move forward. Otherwise we stay stuck in the past. We have to let it go.

As this year comes to an end, I want to take this last year and only remember it for what God has done to change my life for the better. I want to leave the past in the past and only live in the here and now. What is done is done and that is all there is.

Love is being able to let go and forgive.

Happy Love Thursday.

Comments

wayabetty said…
I'm all for that, letting the past go and live for the here and now. Happy Love Thursday!
Amanda. said…
Blessings.

Happy Love Thursday!

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