I was reading today in the book Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free. It is the book I am currently reading for a book club. It is a Christian read. I am not going to list all the lies so far that I have ever believed. Suffice it to say I find that 90% of them I have believed at some point. The other 10%? I am sure I will believe some day.
Today I was reading in the chapter, Lies Women Believe About Marriage. Ahh, what a fun topic. Marriage is hard. Anyway, I was reading along nodding my head and "uh-huhing" along with all these things. (the lies people, not the truths.) When I came to lie #26 Sometimes divorce is a better option than staying in a bad marriage. Now, I am not saying that I believe this today. I was reading and seeing what I could learn in the section when this sentence jumped out at me.
"We can not love another human being perfectly on our own. But God can love anyone through us, if we are willing to let Him. Love is not a feeling; it is a commitment to act in the best interest of another."
Wow. Love is not a feeling? That was good for me to read. It is a commitment to act in the best interest of someone else. I like that. I also realized that this is true for anyone. Not just in a marriage relationship. But ANYONE. There are some people that are hard to love. And it feels like it is impossible to love that person or persons. But to see that God can love them through us and that only HE can love anyone completely was an eye opener. What a good way to live your life.
I know at times it is hard for me to love any number of people. And I tell myself I can not force myself to love them or feel anything nice toward them. But in reality it has nothing to do with feeling anything. And it is a choice. I have the choice each and every day to live the way God would want me too (which some days is HARD to do) or I can choose to try and run my own life and live in misery. For today, I am going to opt for the first option.
As I sit here, I realize it take only moments for me to count my blessings. I have a great husband, three (THREE?!?!?) wonderful babies, my mom and dad (love them with all I am), a sister and brother in law (who bring to mind, it take a village to raise a child, at the very least it is nice to have that village around while you are trying to raise your children), two nieces and a nephew (which never cease to amaze me with their warmth and love, even as teens), a mother in law (who I realize I am lucky that I love as a second mom), a sister in law (who always sees the bright side and is like my own baby sister), various other extended family members (The Tios and the boys; Fiddy, David and Ashley; Terri; tons of Grandparents; tons of cousins; the cousins kids; Carole; David; you get the picture) and a list of good friends (Rachel, Denise, Katie, Lisa, Annie, Shannon).
I am surrounded by love.
Today I was reading in the chapter, Lies Women Believe About Marriage. Ahh, what a fun topic. Marriage is hard. Anyway, I was reading along nodding my head and "uh-huhing" along with all these things. (the lies people, not the truths.) When I came to lie #26 Sometimes divorce is a better option than staying in a bad marriage. Now, I am not saying that I believe this today. I was reading and seeing what I could learn in the section when this sentence jumped out at me.
"We can not love another human being perfectly on our own. But God can love anyone through us, if we are willing to let Him. Love is not a feeling; it is a commitment to act in the best interest of another."
Wow. Love is not a feeling? That was good for me to read. It is a commitment to act in the best interest of someone else. I like that. I also realized that this is true for anyone. Not just in a marriage relationship. But ANYONE. There are some people that are hard to love. And it feels like it is impossible to love that person or persons. But to see that God can love them through us and that only HE can love anyone completely was an eye opener. What a good way to live your life.
I know at times it is hard for me to love any number of people. And I tell myself I can not force myself to love them or feel anything nice toward them. But in reality it has nothing to do with feeling anything. And it is a choice. I have the choice each and every day to live the way God would want me too (which some days is HARD to do) or I can choose to try and run my own life and live in misery. For today, I am going to opt for the first option.
As I sit here, I realize it take only moments for me to count my blessings. I have a great husband, three (THREE?!?!?) wonderful babies, my mom and dad (love them with all I am), a sister and brother in law (who bring to mind, it take a village to raise a child, at the very least it is nice to have that village around while you are trying to raise your children), two nieces and a nephew (which never cease to amaze me with their warmth and love, even as teens), a mother in law (who I realize I am lucky that I love as a second mom), a sister in law (who always sees the bright side and is like my own baby sister), various other extended family members (The Tios and the boys; Fiddy, David and Ashley; Terri; tons of Grandparents; tons of cousins; the cousins kids; Carole; David; you get the picture) and a list of good friends (Rachel, Denise, Katie, Lisa, Annie, Shannon).
I am surrounded by love.
Comments
"We can not love another human being perfectly on our own. But God can love anyone through us, if we are willing to let Him. Love is not a feeling; it is a commitment to act in the best interest of another."
But divorce *can* be a better option it your partner is not committed to acting in your best interest(s).
I've spent more than 10 years committed to "making it work" because when I married I intended it to be "til death do us part".
Well, my soul and psyche and self-esteem died years ago.
I became acutely aware of the lesson I'm teaching my kids--that mom/wife/woman isn't of any value, only dad/husband/man is allowed to get/have/do/be what he wants.
Sorry for venting on your blog, Abby! I enjoy reading and love the pics of your kids!
I am sorry your situation is not great. My intent in the post was the idea that love is not a feeling. Nothing more.
I've been aware that love is sometimes a choice--otherwise I would have been divorced years ago!
;-)
I do enjoy your blog!
My marriage is in shambles right now and I'm trying to decide what to do.
I know that love is hard work. Thank you for reminding me.
I just wish I had as much faith as you do! I'm not even sure if I believe in God anymore. I don't know what I believe.
Just wanted to say thanks.