Too Much

I have always been too much.  Say too much.  Feel too much.  Pick a word and add too much and you have me summed up.  I have heard it my entire life.  Often times, it causes people to pull away or maybe not come close at all.  I am just too much for a lot of people to handle.  I have tried scaling back, but most of the time it doesn't.....feel right.  If I scale back I do not feel like I am being my authentic self.  If I  am my authentic self, I am too much.  You see the predicament?

So, here is this blog.  Of all my rambling thoughts.  I have always been wordy.  If you can locate my high school  English teacher, he would tell you that is true.  He would always say, as he handed back yet another paper of mine, "Abby,  you are too wordy.  You are telling me, I need you to show me."  And I would roll my eyes and mouth back, "Did I get an A yet?"  But that teacher helped make me a better writer.  Along with many, many other English teachers I had throughout my education.  English and writing have always been my jam.  If I could make it into a side hustle.....(in all my free time 😂)

I have heard from a few people this week that they enjoy reading what I write and post on Facebook.  It has come from people I admire and respect and are writers themselves.  It is very humbling to hear those words come from people you look to as having an amazing way with words.  Or maybe people are tired of opening Facebook and having one of my rather lengthy posts take up their entire page 😳.  No worries, there will still be long Facebook posts.  And as I have said time and time again, there is this handy button called Unfollow and all you have to do is click it and I do not show up on your feed anymore!  You are welcome for that tip.  

So here we are.  Who knows what kind of word vomit will happen on this blog.  I have tried to say I do not have time to write here anymore, but let's be honest.  I am constantly writing things in my head, so I might as well put it to "paper".   Read or not, makes no difference to me.  I am old and, see above, aware that I am too much.  You also have the option to not click on my blog link!  Look at all the choices you can make.....

So we will see where this goes.  Again.  I have a lot to say.  And I think I am ready to put a lot of it out there.  Brace yourself.  As I have gotten older, I give less of a shit.  And probably because of the things I have been through, especially in the last few years, I give less of a fuck too.  If language offends you, do not read this blog.  I am likely to not hold back.  I thought that was kind of the point of writing anyway.  

Welcome to If All Is Not Lost, Where Is It?  Are you ready for this?