Often times there are moments where you know you have changed. A lot of times those moments are hard to put into words. See, I felt the changes inside over time. I never paid much attention to them. I knew things were changing in me, but since it seemed a gradual thing and something that I was working on doing, I just did not realize it. Sometimes though there is a moment where you get it. Where you realize the extent of this change.
Today I was looking at one of the boys Facebook albums. The boys are Mark's cousins. I have known them since they were 11 (the twins) and 14 (Andy). They are now almost 21 and 25. They are three of my most favorite people on the planet. Anyway.....
This album was the one of pictures from Costa Rica. It was our second trip there. We had taken Emma when she was about eighteen months. To be honest, I hated going. I was nasty the whole trip and just did not enjoy anything. It was who I was at the time and now, I do not remember much about that first trip.
Last year we went back. Five years after our first trip. Not only was I different person, but I was determined to enjoy this trip. How many people get this kind of opportunity? Not once but twice? (and hopefully more times to come). It is where Mark is from and where the majority of his family still lives. It is my kids roots and history and culture. I get to be a part of that.
This time it was all of us from here. His mom and sister along with Tio, Tia and all three boys. Ita was celebrating her 85 birthday and it would be the first time everyone in the family had been together in forever. We bought tickets, made arrangements and packed up. I was excited and nervous. This time I had two kids to keep track of on the plane and the trip is not short. Luckily Emma is stuck to my sister in law so she was not an issue.
We spent almost two weeks there and it was wonderful. This trip was completely different for me from the first one. It was wonderful in so many ways. I did not realize how different I was until now. I can still remember that trip. I look at the pictures from it and I am sad. I remember all the fun we had. The food we ate. The conversations we shared. (though it was different for me because well, Spanish is not my strong suit).
We are not going this year. My mother in law goes every year and for once I am jealous that she is going back. This is how I knew I had changed. Not only do I want to go back, I am SAD that I am not this year. I asked Mark the other day if at some point we can be where we can go much more often than every five years. Maybe not every year, but maybe every other year?
I looked at those pictures today and wanted to be there right now. Not only because it is by far warmer and nicer there, but because now I see family there. And it sounds strange to say for me since it is not family that I know very intimately. But I miss them.
Honestly, who would not miss a place like this?
Today I was looking at one of the boys Facebook albums. The boys are Mark's cousins. I have known them since they were 11 (the twins) and 14 (Andy). They are now almost 21 and 25. They are three of my most favorite people on the planet. Anyway.....
This album was the one of pictures from Costa Rica. It was our second trip there. We had taken Emma when she was about eighteen months. To be honest, I hated going. I was nasty the whole trip and just did not enjoy anything. It was who I was at the time and now, I do not remember much about that first trip.
Last year we went back. Five years after our first trip. Not only was I different person, but I was determined to enjoy this trip. How many people get this kind of opportunity? Not once but twice? (and hopefully more times to come). It is where Mark is from and where the majority of his family still lives. It is my kids roots and history and culture. I get to be a part of that.
This time it was all of us from here. His mom and sister along with Tio, Tia and all three boys. Ita was celebrating her 85 birthday and it would be the first time everyone in the family had been together in forever. We bought tickets, made arrangements and packed up. I was excited and nervous. This time I had two kids to keep track of on the plane and the trip is not short. Luckily Emma is stuck to my sister in law so she was not an issue.
We spent almost two weeks there and it was wonderful. This trip was completely different for me from the first one. It was wonderful in so many ways. I did not realize how different I was until now. I can still remember that trip. I look at the pictures from it and I am sad. I remember all the fun we had. The food we ate. The conversations we shared. (though it was different for me because well, Spanish is not my strong suit).
We are not going this year. My mother in law goes every year and for once I am jealous that she is going back. This is how I knew I had changed. Not only do I want to go back, I am SAD that I am not this year. I asked Mark the other day if at some point we can be where we can go much more often than every five years. Maybe not every year, but maybe every other year?
I looked at those pictures today and wanted to be there right now. Not only because it is by far warmer and nicer there, but because now I see family there. And it sounds strange to say for me since it is not family that I know very intimately. But I miss them.
Honestly, who would not miss a place like this?
Comments
That didn't help? Sorry. Just come visit us instead - we'll take you to the beach and a different tropical paradise.
But we're not family. Then again, being from Missouri, who knows, right? I was - almost - related to my first husband!