I have been reading Loving God With All Your Mind, by Elizabeth George. It is obviously a religious book and I have found it very helpful in a lot of ways.
One verse in the Bible and one that I have held onto for a long time is Philippians 4:8; Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. In this book this is one of the main topics. Thinking on what is true. It may not sound like a big deal. But this includes not thinking about the past or really the future. It is about getting yourself to only deal in today. Not focusing on what happened yesterday and not looking to what may happen tomorrow. It is not as easy as it sounds.
A lot of times we look to our past to figure out how to deal with today. And the past is the past. We need to leave it there. A lot of times we think what if about so many things. And what is the point in that? We simply do not know what tomorrow may bring. We could what if ourselves to death.
I can tell you that putting this all into practice is not easy. Here is my example about how difficult it really is.
I am having some bad side effects that I think may be from taking birth control pills. We are talking knock you down migraines. I simply can not take them (the migraines) anymore. As a result I have decided to stop the hormonal birth control for the time being and see if I feel any better. My PAST has shown me that doing this causes me to stop having a cycle altogether. As in, I have maybe one or two and then they just disappear. As in I can go months without a period. Now, overall this is not a bad thing. Who really wants to go through that every month? This is where the next phase comes in. The WHAT IF. WHAT IF we decide to have another child at some point? My PAST has shown me that it is difficult. My PAST has shown me that getting off the pill causes me to stop having a cycle altogether. (I think it maybe that I just do not ovulate on my own and since the pill forces you to have a cycle, once I stop it, I do not have them. If that makes any sense.) So WHAT IF in any given amount of time it comes up that we are going to go for another child? What happens then?
How many times in just that little bit does the past or what if come up? Six. It is not easy to NOT think about those things. But that is exactly what we are supposed to do. Not think on the past and not focus on what ifs.
Another part of what the Bible teaches us is to not be afraid. Another verse I have clung to is Psalm 27:3. The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? I found this one after my sister had been diagnosed with cervical cancer. She had a hysterectomy to take care of it and then at a check-up appointment they feared that the cancer may have come back and/or spread. I was fearful of what it may mean for her. One day while reading in my Bible this verse came up. Soon after my sister was given a clean bill of health. Whatever cysts they thought they had seen were no where to be found. In this verse I learned to never be afraid of anyone or anything. This is once again not always an easy thing to do.
Following my same example, here is how it goes. I am afraid that IF (there is the if again) we do decide to go for another child, it will be the same struggle it was with the other two. I am afraid of that. It was not easy and it is not something I particularly want to sign myself up for again willingly. I have two. I should quit while I am ahead and not put myself through that pain of not being able to get pregnant again. That is the fear.
So while I know what I am to do and how neither focusing on the past or looking to the what ifs, nor fearing what may or may not be is not productive and does not matter, it is still not easy. I guess no one ever said following God would be easy either.
There is an old saying Let go and let God. How difficult is it to actually let go and give up the control? Out of all the things in life I personally struggle with this sits in the number one spot. Letting go of the control. After all, I am not in control of my life anyway. And even if you do not believe in God, most of you know that there is a lot of stuff out there that you can not control either. Why is it that we try so hard to keep a control that we do not even really possess?
One verse in the Bible and one that I have held onto for a long time is Philippians 4:8; Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. In this book this is one of the main topics. Thinking on what is true. It may not sound like a big deal. But this includes not thinking about the past or really the future. It is about getting yourself to only deal in today. Not focusing on what happened yesterday and not looking to what may happen tomorrow. It is not as easy as it sounds.
A lot of times we look to our past to figure out how to deal with today. And the past is the past. We need to leave it there. A lot of times we think what if about so many things. And what is the point in that? We simply do not know what tomorrow may bring. We could what if ourselves to death.
I can tell you that putting this all into practice is not easy. Here is my example about how difficult it really is.
I am having some bad side effects that I think may be from taking birth control pills. We are talking knock you down migraines. I simply can not take them (the migraines) anymore. As a result I have decided to stop the hormonal birth control for the time being and see if I feel any better. My PAST has shown me that doing this causes me to stop having a cycle altogether. As in, I have maybe one or two and then they just disappear. As in I can go months without a period. Now, overall this is not a bad thing. Who really wants to go through that every month? This is where the next phase comes in. The WHAT IF. WHAT IF we decide to have another child at some point? My PAST has shown me that it is difficult. My PAST has shown me that getting off the pill causes me to stop having a cycle altogether. (I think it maybe that I just do not ovulate on my own and since the pill forces you to have a cycle, once I stop it, I do not have them. If that makes any sense.) So WHAT IF in any given amount of time it comes up that we are going to go for another child? What happens then?
How many times in just that little bit does the past or what if come up? Six. It is not easy to NOT think about those things. But that is exactly what we are supposed to do. Not think on the past and not focus on what ifs.
Another part of what the Bible teaches us is to not be afraid. Another verse I have clung to is Psalm 27:3. The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? I found this one after my sister had been diagnosed with cervical cancer. She had a hysterectomy to take care of it and then at a check-up appointment they feared that the cancer may have come back and/or spread. I was fearful of what it may mean for her. One day while reading in my Bible this verse came up. Soon after my sister was given a clean bill of health. Whatever cysts they thought they had seen were no where to be found. In this verse I learned to never be afraid of anyone or anything. This is once again not always an easy thing to do.
Following my same example, here is how it goes. I am afraid that IF (there is the if again) we do decide to go for another child, it will be the same struggle it was with the other two. I am afraid of that. It was not easy and it is not something I particularly want to sign myself up for again willingly. I have two. I should quit while I am ahead and not put myself through that pain of not being able to get pregnant again. That is the fear.
So while I know what I am to do and how neither focusing on the past or looking to the what ifs, nor fearing what may or may not be is not productive and does not matter, it is still not easy. I guess no one ever said following God would be easy either.
There is an old saying Let go and let God. How difficult is it to actually let go and give up the control? Out of all the things in life I personally struggle with this sits in the number one spot. Letting go of the control. After all, I am not in control of my life anyway. And even if you do not believe in God, most of you know that there is a lot of stuff out there that you can not control either. Why is it that we try so hard to keep a control that we do not even really possess?
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