We have started the new home school year. Yes I realize I am nuts. No need to point out the obvious people. So far, so good. I am enjoying the more free schooling we have adapted for this year. Fits my personality better. And we all know, if mama ain't happy..... So it goes. Another year to begin. I am not sure what it is about this time of the year. But I like it. The weather is cooler already. It is as if with fall comes a new chapter in life. Or just as the leaves change, so does your view. A new beginning if you will. I hate to admit this out loud, but having the baby hit me harder than I expected. Everyone said that adding number three was seamless. Once you have two, one more is no big deal. Either they lied or I am a freak. Because it kicked my arse. I think I am just now coming out of the baby fog. And it feels good. Do not get me wrong. I love the little guy. But it has not been easy. Mostly on my mind. Which as anyone who knows me can attest to, is...

I get razzed a bit for being all hippie like. Breastfeeding and natural and organic and all of that. But never fear. We still eat crap. Witness Xander eating an Oreo. Oh yes. Those little cookies seem so innocent. But in the hands of a child? They somehow morph into the messiest item on the planet. What is this cookies you speak of? I tell you, I ate no cookie. I tell you, I ate no cookie. Okay, so maybe I ate one little cookie. Shhhhhh.......... See? On an unrelated note, I made some kick azz Nemo cookies. Here fishy, fishy...

I love to read. I have since I was little. I also have a bad habit of getting completely engrossed in what I am reading. Getting so wrapped up that I can not put the book down until I know what happens. I am still this way. I have no self control when it comes to reading. That is not the shameless part. What is shameless is what I like to read. Chick lit. There I said. I like to read the mindless dribble that is chick lit. Not romance novels. Just your run of the mill chick lit. Over the past couple of weeks I have reignited my love of reading. And I gave into the chick lit. What is it about this genre that does me in? I have found that I enjoy the books that involve being a mom as well. Which makes sense. It is relateable on that level in some way. I can not quite put my finger on the draw. The last three books I have read, I have been able to identify with the main characters in some way. Seeing as to how they were all moms. I also seem to like (this is even more ...

It is seeing images like the ones that follow that make me swell up inside with love. The bond of my boys. I enjoy watching it blossom. The only thing that makes me a bit sad is not having a sister for Emma. Maybe one day. Otherwise it is the Princess stuck in the sea of Princes. I am not sure what Davis is telling Xander in the third picture. I do love how you can see they have their hands on top of one another. So sweet. My boys.

I am not photogenic. Never have been. I almost detest having my picture taken. I am usually the one who volunteers to take all the pictures. You are safe behind the camera. However, looking through pictures, I realize there are very few pictures of me with my kids. This does upset me. I want pictures of me with the kids. Time is fleeting. I want to remember these moments with them. I want photographic evidence that I did exist with these kids. Yesterday we tried to get ready for church and we were very late. I also had a cake and cookies to take for dessert for lunch and the icing would have melted in the car. We opted to let Xander take a nap and just go straight to Mark's moms for lunch. We were all dressed for church though. I usually dress us to coordinate as much as I can. No idea why. It is a sickness. We were all dressed and ready to go, so I asked Emma and then Mark to snap a few pictures of me with the kids. Here are the best ones. Davis has a hard time be...

Cause me to long for fall. I am looking forward to stews and roast and soups again. In the summer it is hard to find food that sounds good when the temperature outside feels like 112. Today we woke up to overcast skies, rain and fairly cool weather. It feels wonderful. I am sitting here uploading pictures while Mark and Emma play Mario Party 8 on the Wii, Xander plays his toy piano (lovely sound) and Davis colors behind me humming. It really is a great day. The only thing I am not looking forward too this fall is that my baby (!?!?!?) will be celebrating his one year birthday already. I do not want to think about it really.

For nine months I carried you around in my belly. I saw you for the first time when you were 6 weeks old in my belly. You were a tiny spot then. I saw you again when you were about 13 weeks in my belly. You were a little jumping bean. The last time I saw you in my belly you were about 20 weeks. You did not hold still. For about 25 or so of those weeks I felt you move and dance. You grew and grew and all the time I wondered if you were a boy or a girl. Finally, nine months ago today, I saw your gorgeous little face and met you. Our little Alexander... Time has gone on. Far too fast. Before long you were four weeks old. An entire month passed. My little wise boy. The next thing I knew, I blinked and you were two months old. You began to smile at us. Another month flew by and you were three months old. By now we were rocking cloth diapers. Four months hit us just as quick as the other ones did. You began to love to bounce in your jump a roo. By the time you were five mon...

The thoughts in my mind. This is what they do. Swirl. I realized today that my niece is at "that age". The age that started making my life so very difficult. That cusp. That Britteny Spears song. Not a girl. Not yet a woman. I wonder if she is struggling with all of it like I did. I wonder if she questions herself at every turn. I wonder if she lacks the ability at times to make a decision. I wonder if that is only something that I dealt with. I wonder if she is like her mother. Who never seemed to have this internal struggle. My sister always seemed to know who she was. Never seemed to second guess herself and always knew which way to go. She never showed any sign of being unsure. I hope my niece is like her mother. I spent far too many moments wondering. I was a day dreaming child and if I had to guess I would say that I dreamed 50% of my life away at that time. I think I might have been my own worst critic. My biggest enemy was myself. I have never figur...

As a mom you have a tendency to give and give until there is nothing left of yourself. After having a child, I have found that I put myself on the back burner for a time and forget about me. It is easy as a mom to put yourself last. It is not good for your mental health though. When you find yourself walking through Wal-Mart and not wanting to go back home to the leeches that suck the life out of you, you are in a bad place. Mostly joking here.... Kids do suck the life out of you though. I have just had to remind myself how important it is to refuel myself. So while it wears me out, it is worth it. I mean how could you not want to squish these kids? (I mean that in a loving way.)

In all honesty, some days I have no clue. Materials are gathered. In opting to strike out more on your own and go the eclectic route, it takes more time. So far we are doing well. English, Math and History have been secured for Emma. I did opt to go with an all in one program for Davis for preschool. Yes people. I am now home schooling both kids. Yes I am crazy. Possibly certifiable. Xander is still not sleeping through the night. He is only waking once usually though. He nurses and goes right back to sleep. He has four teeth now and is eating solids well. I will not divulge how often he still nurses. It is our secret. The big kids are set and ready to begin school hopefully in mid to late August. The materials I have ordered are on their way to me. We bought school supplies yesterday. Here is hoping I can keep Davis interested. Nothing else new to report. Other than the lady at Wal-Mart asked me yesterday if I was pregnant again. I almost choked her. I am back t...

My kids DO love each other. Watching them together and separately or paired off in two is amazing to watch. I have to remind myself of how lucky I am to get to witness such interactions when we are in the middle of a, "Davis, get off of your sister's head" moment. Here is photographic proof of the love. I realize this is only the two big kids with their baby brother. I am not sure what a picture of Emma and Davis together would look like. If I had to guess I would go with Davis sitting on Emma's head laughing while you see very little of Emma. Open up for a bite Is it yummy? This is how Xander usually looks at Davis, with hero worship. Hey, there is an Emma behind me. Yes they are watching tv together.... Disclaimer: Emma's orange mustache is from orange soda. Frtz's, all natural.

We survived. And so did the kids. I, however, will not go for more than 3 days again with a child under a year old and still nursing. Here is my list on NYC. Top Ten Awesome Things about NYC: 1~ The city itself 2~ The Subway. Public transportation rocks. 3~ The food. So much, so good. 4~ Central Park. Amazing. Beautiful. 5~ The people. I heard more foreign languages there than English. 6~ Soho and Greenwich Village 7~ The shopping. Seriously. 8~ Seeing the World Trade Center site in person. One does not get the magnitude unless you see it live. 9~ 30 Rock. I know I am a twit. But I love the show and this was too awesome for me. 10~ Did I mention the city? Skyline is breath taking Top Ten Sucky or Amusing Things About NYC (caveat, some of these are just vacation without kids) 1~ Pumping sucks 2~ Pumping sucks in public restrooms and/or airplane restrooms 3~ Tossing breast milk down the drain or in the toilet sucks even worse 4~ Missing your kids is not cool 5...

Xander makes a mess with his toys. Just like the other kids do. I think his tongue may be too big for his mouth. It is always hanging out. Xan said mama this week. He has coupled that with reaching for me. Yes it melts me into a mama puddle. This morning his spit up in my face. That did not make me melt. It was gross. Messy toys and tongue issues But he is cute so we do not care! Forgive me for the mess. He likes the stars on his mobile.... How can he reach them? (soon the mobile will have to come down. He is almost there.)

Maybe it is my house, but my laundry breeds. I am not joking. One second there is NO laundry in the hamper and the next thing I know it is full and I have two loads to do. Sometimes I think that is all I do all day. Well, and wash dishes. I think it would be good to be a kid here. At my house. This is what they do while I waste away doing laundry. It looks rough doesn't it? He looks positively exhausted. Form his big morning of what? Pooping and nursing? Must have been eating his breakfast. And even though the Xan Man looks more like his mama (only took three tries), we still have proof that he is his father's son. Witness, the tongue hanging out of his face. Complete with spittle.

Got your attention? No, I do not have one. What I do have is a knack for making sugar cookies. And a love of decorating them. Mark told me some time ago to snap some pictures to keep around for "just in case." I try to remember to take some pictures of cookies I do. Who knows. Maybe one day Three Little Monkeys will be known. I will say that I am getting more adventurous. I can make cookies on a stick. I can make bite size cookies. These are about the size of a fifty cent piece or so. I can make cookies and put them in a hand painted box as a gift. I can make coffee cookies. Baby Shower cookies.... My newest venture is flavored icing. I need to gather some other flavored extracts. It makes sense that a coffee cookie would have a bit of a coffee taste. Or a bright yellow cookie taste a bit like lemon. Branching out....

My youngest boy turned seven months old last week. I took some photos that day of my little guy sleeping. I sat and watched him. Marveled at the sight of him. Sighed because he is growing too fast like they all do. My sleeping angel.... Sweet perfection.... Kissable feet.... Chubby fingers.... Xander has learned how to sit up big and proud as well. He gets the tongue thing from his father. I think he knows how adorable he is.... **Sigh** Pure love that boy. Pure love.