Do you ever have moments where you are reminded of something in such a harsh and raw way? What do you do when that happens?
I have had that moment today. Where it feels as if something that has happened to you is being rubbed into your face. And it seems as if there is NO appropriate way to respond to it. Where it feels as if you want to kill someone and cry at the same time. This feeling of complete and utter rage while at the same time your heart is breaking into a million pieces because NO ONE seems to get it. What is that?
It is not easy to pick up the pieces and move on. When something happens that destroys who you are as a person and you try to pick it up and move on, you struggle. It does get better with time and then WHAM. That person that hurt you the first time opens that wound right back up and pours salt into it. Damn. Why?
Sometimes you wonder if you made the right decision.
I have had that moment today. Where it feels as if something that has happened to you is being rubbed into your face. And it seems as if there is NO appropriate way to respond to it. Where it feels as if you want to kill someone and cry at the same time. This feeling of complete and utter rage while at the same time your heart is breaking into a million pieces because NO ONE seems to get it. What is that?
It is not easy to pick up the pieces and move on. When something happens that destroys who you are as a person and you try to pick it up and move on, you struggle. It does get better with time and then WHAM. That person that hurt you the first time opens that wound right back up and pours salt into it. Damn. Why?
Sometimes you wonder if you made the right decision.
Comments
It is so hard. I've been there, with both husbands. One marriage survived, and is thriving, the other ... well, he's the ex.
You can get through *anything* if you both want to, but that doesn't mean that there won't be moments you want to chop his ... well, you want to hurt him. I still have moments where I want to stick a hot curling iron up my ex's ... um, I want ot hurt him. And moments I want to return Eric's trumpet to him in a little ball, after running over it with the van.
But - they're just moments, and they don't last long. And then I see the way Guthrie runs to him when he opens the door, and how he makes Turner giggle, and the moment goes away.
As long as they're just that - moments - it'll be okay. It's when the moments last all day that you need to worry.
Don't I wish.
I don't know what to tell you but today I sent my husband an e-mail telling him to eff off.
If we were 18 years old and talking out boyfriends I would tell you hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice, shame on me but alas, we're all grown up with a lot more at stake. It's a constant struggle sometimes. I don't know why.
Hugs.
Being a grown-up sucks doesn't it? As does having some fellow girlfriends but having them live in say I do not know TEXAS and SOUTH CAROLINA. LOL. Why do y'all have to be so far away???
Amanda....if only right? You may be my could have been! Sounds like we could use a good night downing beers and bitching, I mean talking together. Damn that you live so stinking far away. You too Judy.
Dee, so sorry you are in this crappy boat too. Good Lord. It has got to be getting full in here....