Yesterday as I was bringing up the Christmas decor, I noticed that the highchair was still out. I noticed it because it was sitting near the door to the basement and I was carrying up box after box of Christmas stuff and the highchair was taking up a lot of space. Space I needed. After my fourth trip up and down and staring at the highchair, glaring at the space it was using, I realized something. We have not used that for many months. Maybe even a year now.
It is the same one we bought when Emma was only a few months old. We invested in a Peg Perego one, blue and yellow checked cover. I really liked that chair. I cleaned it up when it was time for Davis to use it. With four years between them, it had been stored for a while before it was needed again.
Yesterday, I looked at that chair and realized something. It was time to put it away. I moved the seat down, folded up the tray and then folded the entire highchair up. I picked it up and carried it to the basement to store with all the other no longer needed baby gear. It was a strange feeling.
After Emma was done with baby gear, I stored it all knowing it would come back out again. I just KNEW we would have one more and I would see all of that stuff again, used with a new little life. This time, as I have slowly packed away baby gear, I do not know that we will ever use it again. I pack it up, store it for now, not knowing if the next time it is pulled out will be for donating or giving it to someone else to use or if it will be for our own use.
I now understand why this time of the year makes me a little sad on the baby front. Both times I was pregnant, I was during this time of the year. And not just a little pregnant. Large and in charge kind of pregnant. Emma was born in March, so over the holidays I was about 4-6 months along. Davis was born in January, so I was more like 6-8 months along. Being short in stature, I show easily anyway. In other words, I get huge. I carried both of the kids over the holidays. It feels like to me being pregnant has to occur over the holiday season.
I am not sure that I will experience being pregnant again. I am okay with that now. Once upon a time not having more kids devastated me. Now thinking about it makes me more tired than anything.
As I lugged that highchair down the stairs yesterday, I wondered if it would come out of storage again. A part of me was a little sad about adding it to the pile of other no longer needed gear. The other part of me was glad to put it away and be done with all of that. If you look around my house now, there is not one piece of baby gear out. I kind of like that all of it is gone and am not sure I want to lug it all out again.
And when this morning, I woke up with a migraine again, I thought to myself, thank goodness the kids are big enough that I can get a some time to take some medication and let it take affect and that they would be okay.
Once upon a time I wanted three to five kids. Now, I do not really care. That may sound bad, but I don't. I have two, one of each. I have been at this for almost seven years now. My baby girl is in the first grade. My baby boy is almost three. I am not sure what the future holds. But if it is no more kids, okay. I am sure the holidays will often remind me of carrying my two kids. How could it not? But as time goes on, I just remember it all with a smile and not sad that I won't experience it again.
Funny how time changes things.
It is the same one we bought when Emma was only a few months old. We invested in a Peg Perego one, blue and yellow checked cover. I really liked that chair. I cleaned it up when it was time for Davis to use it. With four years between them, it had been stored for a while before it was needed again.
Yesterday, I looked at that chair and realized something. It was time to put it away. I moved the seat down, folded up the tray and then folded the entire highchair up. I picked it up and carried it to the basement to store with all the other no longer needed baby gear. It was a strange feeling.
After Emma was done with baby gear, I stored it all knowing it would come back out again. I just KNEW we would have one more and I would see all of that stuff again, used with a new little life. This time, as I have slowly packed away baby gear, I do not know that we will ever use it again. I pack it up, store it for now, not knowing if the next time it is pulled out will be for donating or giving it to someone else to use or if it will be for our own use.
I now understand why this time of the year makes me a little sad on the baby front. Both times I was pregnant, I was during this time of the year. And not just a little pregnant. Large and in charge kind of pregnant. Emma was born in March, so over the holidays I was about 4-6 months along. Davis was born in January, so I was more like 6-8 months along. Being short in stature, I show easily anyway. In other words, I get huge. I carried both of the kids over the holidays. It feels like to me being pregnant has to occur over the holiday season.
I am not sure that I will experience being pregnant again. I am okay with that now. Once upon a time not having more kids devastated me. Now thinking about it makes me more tired than anything.
As I lugged that highchair down the stairs yesterday, I wondered if it would come out of storage again. A part of me was a little sad about adding it to the pile of other no longer needed gear. The other part of me was glad to put it away and be done with all of that. If you look around my house now, there is not one piece of baby gear out. I kind of like that all of it is gone and am not sure I want to lug it all out again.
And when this morning, I woke up with a migraine again, I thought to myself, thank goodness the kids are big enough that I can get a some time to take some medication and let it take affect and that they would be okay.
Once upon a time I wanted three to five kids. Now, I do not really care. That may sound bad, but I don't. I have two, one of each. I have been at this for almost seven years now. My baby girl is in the first grade. My baby boy is almost three. I am not sure what the future holds. But if it is no more kids, okay. I am sure the holidays will often remind me of carrying my two kids. How could it not? But as time goes on, I just remember it all with a smile and not sad that I won't experience it again.
Funny how time changes things.
Comments
It can be bittersweet packing up old gear and baby things. I put several boxes of toys and books away to take to my nephew soon. Somehow those items were harder to pack away than clothes.
It is bittersweet. I had a hard time finally donating all of Samantha's old clothes.